Should I?

As growing up, I learned to have a dream. But, is it a mistake when I couldn't reach my dream? For this reason, I miss my childhood time when I didn't have to make decision. My parents's wish againts my desire. Should I stop dreaming? Is it a time for me to grow up? I know very well that my parents always cherish me but my ego pushes me into a deep hurt. In the same time, I don't want disappoint them. I wondered if I had to let it go what will happen next.

I think this song fits with my condition right now.

I was the one who would always jump in first
I didnt think twice to look behind
Got such a good feeling just from playing in the dirt
Once when I was little

We could build a rocket, fly to the moon
Leave Tuesday morning, be back for noon
And there wasnt nothing, nothing that we couldnt do
Oh, once when I was little, once when I was little

Yeah, I could dream more then
I could believed more then
That the world could only get better

I could be free more then
I could pretend more then
That this life could only show me good times
Once when I was little

There was a time when I trusted everyone
There was no place that I would not go
Spend all day on the hillside next to the barley mow
Oh, once when I was little, yeah, once when I was little

Yeah, I could dream more then
And I believe more then
That the world could only get better

I could be free more then
I could pretend more then
That this life could only show me good times
Once when I was little

I used to feel so strong
Even when they'd tell me, tell me I was wrong
That I cant live in a magic world
Cause its time for me to grow up
And Ive got to live like the rest of them
Well, I know things have been lost

Oh, I could pretend more then
And I could believe more then
That the world, it would only get better

Oh, I could believe more then, yes I could
And I could pretend more then
That this life, it could only show me good times
Once when I was little

So here comes the next one, next in line
Stay as young you can, for the longest time
Cause those days flew by
Like a breeze just passing through
Once when I was little

James Morrison - Once, when I was little

Well dude,

I spent my saturday night by doodling in my comfort room. I like doodling so much to describe my feelings. For me, doodling just like another sad song to ease my bad feelings.

Gloomy Sunday

Dear People,
Did you ever feel only good things happened to you? Yes, i did. I always think that nothing bad happened to me. My brain has been programmed to think positive until bad thing really happened to me. It really made me down now. In my history, this is the first time in my life. My rotating clockwise stopped at 6 and here I am. I know very well that God's leading me to be mature. I have to be strong. And this is my favorite playlist from my favorite movie frozen

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,
not a footprint to be seen.
A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen.
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside.
Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried.

Don't let them in, don't let them see.
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know.
Well, now they know!

Let it go, let it go!
Can't hold it back any more.
Let it go, let it go!
Turn away and slam the door.
I don't care what they're going to say.
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway.

It's funny how some distance,
makes everything seem small.
And the fears that once controlled me, can't get to me at all
It's time to see what I can do,
to test the limits and break through.
No right, no wrong, no rules for me.
I'm free!

Let it go, let it go.
I am one with the wind and sky.
Let it go, let it go.
You'll never see me cry.
Here I'll stand, and here I'll stay.
Let the storm rage on.

My power flurries through the air into the ground.
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back; the past is in the past!

Let it go, let it go.
And I'll rise like the break of dawn.
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone
Here I stand, in the light of day.

Let the storm rage on!
The cold never bothered me anyway...